Tips for Purchasing a Llama

The Science Creative Quarterly offers up some tips for purchasing a guard llama. Apparently, this is a legitimate concern, as the author cites five related articles (although I'm not sure if they are real publications, and I'm not ambitious enough to find out for myself). Among the concerns is overqualification (yes, llamas come with different skill sets):

There is nothing worse than an overqualified llama. For instance a llama, trained in the delicate arts of diplomacy, will become depressed and distant if it is only given the task of guarding your ’86 Chevy Cavalier from any would-be vandal. Consequently, it will probably let its guard down and you will be left with a llama with very low self-esteem and an antennae-less ’86 Chevy Cavalier with the words “Wash me” scrawled onto the dirt caked rear windshield.

There's the Onion and Sports Pickle; SCQ may be our equivalent source of science humor.