Friday, November 04, 2005

Weekly Random Ten (4 November 2005)

Them Brotha's Sure Run Fast Edition

When asked why his team lost to TCU the previous Saturday, Air Force football coach Fisher DeBerry replied that TCU "had a lot more Afro-American players than we did and they ran a lot faster than we did . . . It just seems to me to be that way. Afro-American kids can run very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me that they run extremely well." DeBerry has since apologized for his statements, saying that he didn't intend to offend anyone (does anyone, really?).

The story doesn't end there, however. DeBerry has a history of -- how can I put this lightly -- offensive tendencies. And, no, these aren't due to the triple option formations that he favors. He recently removed a banner from the locker room advertising "I am a Christian first and last . . . I am a member of Team Jesus Christ" and just scrapped the pregame prayer. DeBerry's first allegiance is to Jesus, and his second is to perpetuating stereotypes. Why not just recruit speed, regardless of race? If you need faster guys to turn the corner on a sweep, move around the end and get outside contain, or track down a speedy return man, then recruit guys with sub 4.4 forty times (sorry if I lost you there with the football jargon). It seems like DeBerry has contracted a case of Paul Hornung syndrome (a recent derivative of Jimmy The Greek condition).

DeBerry isn't the only one coming down with Hornung-itous. Everyone's favorite coke-bottle-glasses wearing football coach, Joe Paterno thinks the brotha's are the reason offensive output (measured in yardage and scoring, not racist statements) has increased in the Big Ten:

"You're looking at kids from Florida, you're looking at kids from Texas, those states. They wouldn't have come to the Big Ten in the old days, probably, if there hadn't been the kind of opportunities we now have because of the practice facilities. You have to be careful the way you say things sometimes. Poor Fisher DeBerry got in trouble, but the black athlete has made a big difference. They have changed the whole tempo of the game. Black athletes have just done a great job as athletes and as people in turning the game around."

JoePa's Nittany Lions are doing well this year (compared to the last couple of seasons of futility) because they've got some solid athletes on offense. Guess where these guys come from: Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Virginia. Not a very long trip from Pennsylvania. Maybe it's due to the recent discovery that there is more to football than three yards and a cloud of dust.

Alright, I'm done playing the race card. Here's this week's Random Ten; my playlist even included one brotha' to increase speed.

  1. Eels - Novacaine for the Soul
  2. The Bouncing Souls - Born to Lose
  3. The Offspring - Jennifer Lost the War
  4. Less Than Jake - My Very Own Flag
  5. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Mandy
  6. Mad Caddies - Something's Wrong at the Playground
  7. Ol' Dirty Bastard - Shimmy Shimmy Ya
  8. NOFX - Three on Speed
  9. Living End - Problem
  10. Blink182 - Romeo and Rebecca


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